Here is an example of an idea so bad that it falls into a special category:
A dead whale measuring 45 feet and weighing eight tons has washed ashore. The nearby residents complain of the smell to the local authorties. What do they do? Bury it? Tow it out to sea? Cut it up and haul it away? No, they call in the State Highway Division to fill it with dynamite and blow it up.......
Here is the News Report of the event: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_t44siFyb4
Favorite quotes:
State Highway Division worker - "I'm confident it will work. I'm just not exactly sure how much explosives it will take....."
News Reporter - "The humor of the entire situation suddently gave way to a run for survival."
News Reporter - "Everyone on the scene was covered with small particles of dead whale."
Things to Note:
The sound of the whale blubber as it falls from the sky and hits the ground.
The crushed car that was a quarter of a mile away from the blast.
Moral of the Story:
You know that little voice in your head that says, "This is a really bad idea"? Some people don't have that little voice.
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"You cannot retire too much from the mindless chatter of the world." - Francois Fenelon
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The Church I Serve
Seven Stanzas at Easter, by John Updike
Make no mistake: if He rose at all
it was as His body;
if the cells' dissolution did not reverse, the molecules
reknit, the amino acids rekindle,
the Church will fall.
It was not as the flowers,
each soft Spring recurrent;
it was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled
eyes of the eleven apostles;
it was as His Flesh: ours.
The same hinged thumbs and toes,
the same valved heart
that — pierced — died, withered, paused, and then
regathered out of enduring Might
new strength to enclose.
Let us not mock God with metaphor,
analogy, sidestepping transcendence;
making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the
faded credulity of earlier ages:
let us walk through the door.
The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
not a stone in a story,
but the vast rock of materiality that in the slow
grinding of time will eclipse for each of us
the wide light of day.
And if we will have an angel at the tomb,
make it a real angel,
weighty with Max Planck's quanta, vivid with hair,
opaque in the dawn light, robed in real linen
spun on a definite loom.
Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
for our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are
embarrassed by the miracle,
and crushed by remonstrance.
it was as His body;
if the cells' dissolution did not reverse, the molecules
reknit, the amino acids rekindle,
the Church will fall.
It was not as the flowers,
each soft Spring recurrent;
it was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled
eyes of the eleven apostles;
it was as His Flesh: ours.
The same hinged thumbs and toes,
the same valved heart
that — pierced — died, withered, paused, and then
regathered out of enduring Might
new strength to enclose.
Let us not mock God with metaphor,
analogy, sidestepping transcendence;
making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the
faded credulity of earlier ages:
let us walk through the door.
The stone is rolled back, not papier-mache,
not a stone in a story,
but the vast rock of materiality that in the slow
grinding of time will eclipse for each of us
the wide light of day.
And if we will have an angel at the tomb,
make it a real angel,
weighty with Max Planck's quanta, vivid with hair,
opaque in the dawn light, robed in real linen
spun on a definite loom.
Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,
for our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,
lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are
embarrassed by the miracle,
and crushed by remonstrance.
About Me
- Elliott Scott
- Houston, Texas, United States
- I'm not really cynical. I just try to sound that way because I think it's cool.
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8 comments:
Haha, thanks to you Eliott, I wasted 20 minutes of my summer school english class's time watching and discussing this video as a group! They got into a deep discussion about human nature and stupidity and the sources of human arrogance when it comes to mother nature. Well, not really. Mostly they just laughed a lot, but it's summer school so laughter is about the best I can expect and it brightened the day! Thanks for the post!
You're welcome! I'm glad I have made my contribution to public education.
after exhaustive research on the subject of what to do with a dead whale carcass I have come to the conclusion that the ecologically sound resolution to this would be to tow the beast out to sea. I base this on the following:
Whale carcasses—or whale falls, as they are called—represent a massive input of food into the generally food-limited environment of the deep sea. One whale fall can provide as much organic material as thousands of years of marine snow, the organic debris that drifts down from surface waters to sustain life in the deep. Whale-fall specialist Craig Smith of the University of Hawaii has identified entire ecosystems with hundreds of different animals that have developed around a single whale fall. Some of these communities may be sustained for decades on the oil-saturated whale bones.
Well, sure, if you want to be all mature and responsible about it.
Or they could have used a much larger quantity of dynamite. I'm sure that would work too.
I am just pleased that someone has had the courage to tackle this alarming trend of dead whales. Its gone on far too long, they are piling up everywhere blocking traffic, and quite frankly a nusance in the back yard.
Let us all agree to each do our part in reducing the number of dead whales by not watering our yards too much, by keeping our fences in good stable condition and most importantly not leaving open containers of water lying around. That just attracts them by the herd.
I pride myself that my blog only deals with the most serious of subjects and mostest importantest of social issues.
Hey Brentari - uh, duh, it's a pod, not a herd of whales. Some expert you turn out to be.
Allie
Hey back at ya Allie "marine biologist webster dictionary" smarty pants...
Taken directly from the DICTONARY...
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This
pod2 Audio Help /pɒd/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[pod] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun 1. a small herd or school, esp. of seals or whales.
2. a small flock of birds.
Note that it defines POD as a small HERD of (seals or whales)!!!
I stand by my use of the word HERD!!!!
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